Copyediting sample 4:
Tri or Quad

In this mystery novel, I needed to point out and (when possible) correct inconsistencies and incorrect statements of fact.

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This sample is presented here with the author’s permission.

Original
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The Tri-Cities, as the area was known then, was rife with corruption, and the vice trade was easy money. Davenport’s Bucktown district was known across the U.S. for its gambling halls and general lawlessness. Characters like Brick Munro ran burlesque theaters and bars like The Senator and The Ozark that were infamous for their high-stakes poker tables. Bucktown had a legion of young ladies who catered to the physical needs of the gamblers, drinkers, and musicians. Bare-knuckle fights were staged for hundreds of spectators (and usually rigged). Music was an integral part of the scene. A young Al Jolson worked as a waiter in one of the clubs, singing for beer and tips. Black musicians from Memphis and St. Louis made regular stops; Bucktown was one of the few white-dominated districts where they were allowed to play. Looney was eager to get in on the action and would eventually control access to all the popular vices in Rock Island and extend his influence up and down the Mississippi River. Looney emerged from exile in 1919, reestablishing control of the underground economy in Rock Island in a remarkably short period of time. By 1920, he was once again the criminal kingpin in the Quad Cities. Old allies—Dan Drost and Anthony Billburg—became enemies. Former enemies, like Harry Schriver, the mayor who nearly killed Looney in 1912, were now allies.

Markup
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The Tri-Cities, as the area was known then, was rife with corruption, and the vice trade was easy money. Davenport’s Bucktown district was known across the U.S. for its gambling halls and general lawlessness. Characters like Brick Characters such as Brick Munro ran burlesque theaters and bars like The bars such as The Senator and The Ozark that were Ozark, which were infamous for their high-stakes poker tables. Bucktown had a legion of young ladies who catered to the physical needs of the gamblers, drinkers, and musicians. Bare-knuckle fights were staged for hundreds of spectators (and usually (and were usually rigged). Music was an integral part of the scene. A young Al Jolson worked as a waiter in one of the clubs, singing for beer and tips. Black musicians from Memphis and St. Louis made regular stops; Bucktown was one of the few white-dominated districts where they were allowed to play. Looney was eager to get in on the action and would eventually control access to all the popular vices in Rock Island and extend his influence up and down the Mississippi River. Looney emerged from exile in 1919, reestablishing control of the underground economy in Rock Island in a remarkably short period of time. By 1920, he was once again the criminal kingpin in the Quad Cities the Tri-Cities. [Right? (This is what you have at the beginning of this excerpt, and the term “Quad Cities,” doesn’t come into vogue until the 1930s, when East Moline joins the other three.)] Old allies—Dan Drost and Anthony Billburg—became enemies. Former enemies, like Harry enemies, such as Harry Schriver, the mayor who nearly killed Looney in who had nearly killed him in 1912, were now allies.

Result
Click to go to the next sample in the series.

The Tri-Cities, as the area was known then, was rife with corruption, and the vice trade was easy money. Davenport’s Bucktown district was known across the U.S. for its gambling halls and general lawlessness. Characters like Brick Munro ran burlesque theaters and bars such as The Senator and The Ozark, which were infamous for their high-stakes poker tables. Bucktown had a legion of young ladies who catered to the physical needs of the gamblers, drinkers, and musicians. Bare-knuckle fights were staged for hundreds of spectators (and were usually rigged). Music was an integral part of the scene. A young Al Jolson worked as a waiter in one of the clubs, singing for beer and tips. Black musicians from Memphis and St. Louis made regular stops; Bucktown was one of the few white-dominated districts where they were allowed to play. Looney was eager to get in on the action and would eventually control access to all the popular vices in Rock Island and extend his influence up and down the Mississippi River. Looney emerged from exile in 1919, reestablishing control of the underground economy in Rock Island in a remarkably short period of time. By 1920, he was once again the criminal kingpin in the Tri-Cities. Old allies—Dan Drost and Anthony Billburg—became enemies. Former enemies, such as Harry Schriver, the mayor who had nearly killed him in 1912, were now allies.