Copyediting sample 45:
Arranging names

In this memoir, I researched every proper name to check its spelling, and I rearranged the list of names in alphabetical order (rather than the random order in the original). I also queried whether the plant could accommodate a private jet landing there.

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Original
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In 1988, Felix Sabates, a team owner in the top NASCAR series, arrived at our Oklahoma plant in his private jet. Felix purchased a new 1989 Newell on the spot, starting us in the NASCAR team owner and driver market. Felix invited me to attend the next NASCAR race at the Michigan International Speedway, introduced me to drivers Geoff Bodine and Mark Martin, and we soon had two more orders. Things progressed quickly from that point. There were years in the 1990s when the Indy car and NASCAR markets had grown to represent a quarter of our new coach sales. The list of our clients grew to represent a virtual Motorsports Hall of Fame, and included Indy Car hero’s A. J. Foyt; Johnny Rutherford; Bobby Unser; Al Unser, Jr.; Jacques Villeneuve; Team Andretti; Bobby Rahal; Rahal, Letterman, Lanigan Racing; Graham Rahal; Paul Tracy; Juan Pablo Montoya; Chip Ganassi Racing; and the Indianapolis Motor Speedway organization. Our NASCAR clientele have included many of the top competitors, including both Dale Earnhardt Sr. and Jr., Jimmie Johnson, Matt Kenseth, Jeff Burton, Rusty Wallace, Jeff Gordon, Darrel Waltrip, Michael Waltrip, Joey Lagano, Kyle Larson, Kasey Kane, and Brad Keselowski. While it was a challenge to import a Newell into Europe because of different motor vehicle regulations in the European Union, we were able to work around the issues for a few select customers. We delivered Newells to the McLaren Formula 1 team, Sir Jackie Stewart, and Jenson Button. The visual presence of Newell motorcoaches parked within the racing infields around the world, owned by the top teams and drivers, created invaluable positive buzz for the brand that continues to this day.

Markup
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In 1988, Felix Sabates, Félix Sabates, a team owner in the top NASCAR series, arrived at our Oklahoma plant in his private jet. [Can your plant accommodate a jet landing there? Consider changing “arrived at our Oklahoma plant in his private jet” to “flew his private jet to Miami, Oklahoma, and arrived at our headquarters”] Felix purchased Félix purchased a new 1989 Newell new (1989) Newell on the spot, starting us in the NASCAR team owner and driver market. Felix invited Félix invited me to attend the next NASCAR race at the Michigan International Speedway, introduced me to drivers Geoff Bodine and Mark Martin, and we soon had two more orders. Things progressed quickly from that point. There were years in the 1990s when the Indy car IndyCar and NASCAR markets had grown to represent a quarter of our new coach sales. The list of our clients grew to represent a virtual Motorsports Hall of Fame, and Fame and included Indy Car hero’s A. J. Foyt; Johnny Rutherford; Bobby Unser; Al Unser, Jr.; Jacques Villeneuve; Team Andretti; Bobby Rahal; Rahal, Letterman, Lanigan Racing; Graham Rahal; Paul Tracy; Juan Pablo Montoya; Chip Ganassi Racing; and the Indianapolis Motor Speedway organization. [rearranged in alphabetical order by surname] IndyCar heroes Chip Ganassi Racing, A. J. Foyt, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway organization, Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing, [no commas in that name] Juan Pablo Montoya, Bobby Rahal, Graham Rahal, Johnny Rutherford, Team Andretti, Paul Tracy, Al Unser Jr., Bobby Unser, and Jacques Villeneuve. Our NASCAR clientele have included many of the top competitors, including both Dale Earnhardt Sr. and Jr., Jimmie Johnson, Matt Kenseth, Jeff Burton, Rusty Wallace, Jeff Gordon, Darrel Waltrip, Michael Waltrip, Joey Lagano, Kyle Larson, Kasey Kane, and Brad Keselowski. [rearranged in alphabetical order by surname] including Jeff Burton, Dale Earnhardt (both Sr. and Jr.), Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, Kasey Kahne, [note the spelling correction of his name] Matt Kenseth, Brad Keselowski, Kyle Larson, Joey Logano, [note the spelling correction of his name] Rusty Wallace, Darrell Waltrip, [note the spelling correction of his first name] and Michael Waltrip. While it was a challenge to import a Newell into Europe because of different motor vehicle regulations in the European Union, we were able to work around the issues for a few select customers. We delivered Newells to the McLaren Formula 1 team, Sir Jackie Stewart, and Jenson Button. [rearranged in alphabetical order by surname] to Jenson Button, the McLaren Formula One team, and Sir Jackie Stewart. [I got rid of the paragraph break here.] The visual presence of Newell motorcoaches parked within motorcoaches owned by the top teams and drivers, and parked within the racing infields around the world, owned by the top teams and drivers, created world, created invaluable positive buzz for the brand that continues to this day.

Result
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In 1988, Félix Sabates, a team owner in the top NASCAR series, landed his private jet at the Miami, Oklahoma, municipal airport, three miles from our Oklahoma plant. Félix purchased a new (1989) Newell on the spot, starting us in the NASCAR team owner and driver market. Félix invited me to attend the next NASCAR race at the Michigan International Speedway, introduced me to drivers Geoff Bodine and Mark Martin, and we soon had two more orders. Things progressed quickly from that point. There were years in the 1990s when the IndyCar and NASCAR markets had grown to represent a quarter of our new coach sales. The list of our clients grew to represent a virtual Motorsports Hall of Fame and included IndyCar heroes Chip Ganassi Racing, A. J. Foyt, the Indianapolis Motor Speedway organization, Rahal Letterman Lanigan Racing, Juan Pablo Montoya, Bobby Rahal, Graham Rahal, Johnny Rutherford, Team Andretti, Paul Tracy, Al Unser Jr., Bobby Unser, and Jacques Villeneuve. Our NASCAR clientele have included many of the top competitors, including Jeff Burton, Dale Earnhardt (both Sr. and Jr.), Jeff Gordon, Jimmie Johnson, Kasey Kahne, Matt Kenseth, Brad Keselowski, Kyle Larson, Joey Logano, Rusty Wallace, Darrell Waltrip, and Michael Waltrip. While it was a challenge to import a Newell into Europe because of different motor vehicle regulations in the European Union, we were able to work around the issues for a few select customers. We delivered Newells to Jenson Button, the McLaren Formula One team, and Sir Jackie Stewart. The visual presence of Newell motorcoaches owned by the top teams and drivers, and parked within the racing infields around the world, created invaluable positive buzz for the brand that continues to this day.