Copyediting sample 49:
The “chronic liar”

Besides routine style issues (mostly punctuation and italicization) in this memoir, there was a problem with ambiguity in the referent of pronouns.

Note: The late author of this piece was not a native English speaker. The client was a daughter of the author, who wanted the author’s Teutonic way of expressing himself preserved as much as possible.

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Original
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At the university a new dean belonging to the Liberal party had replaced Dr. Botero, who was a Conservative. There was a strange tradition in Colombia that the Conservatives were mostly pro-German, while the Liberals tended to be pro-French. Around August of 1957 we German professors, four in all, had some talks with the new dean concerning the extension of our contracts for the next year. My original two-year contract had been extended twice by one year and the question was now whether I would stay on for a fifth year. All four of us told the new dean that we wanted a certain portion of our salary pegged to the dollar because the Colombian peso was so rapidly loosing its value. He seemed to be sympathetic to our request and said that he would send a proposal to Bogota. Several months later, in December, we found out that he had recommended to the president of the university in Bogota that in his opinion the foreign professors should not receive a penny more than the Colombians. After hearing this, we all four told him that we were not interested in another extension of our contracts. One of us, I believe his name was Schultz, decided to return to Germany. Walla and the “chronic liar” both wanted to go to the States and applied for immigration visa. My decision was easy: I would just work full time for the Empresas Públicas. In January of 1958 when Walla went to the American consulate to inquire about the status of his immigration visa, he was surprised to hear from the consul that he had given the first available number to the “liar” who had already departed for the States. He had told the consul that Walla had agreed to give up his number in his favor. Walla was quite upset and had to wait another two or three months before he could move to the States.

Markup
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At the university a new dean belonging to the Liberal party Party had replaced Dr. Botero, who was a Conservative. There was a strange tradition in Colombia that the Conservatives were mostly pro-German, while the Liberals tended to be pro-French. Around August of 1957 we German professors, four in all, had some talks with the new dean concerning the extension of our contracts for the next year. My original two-year contract had been extended twice by one year and year, and the question was now whether I would stay on for a fifth year. All four of us told the new dean that we wanted a certain portion of our salary pegged to the dollar because the Colombian peso was so rapidly loosing losing its value. He seemed to be sympathetic to our request and said that he would send a proposal to Bogota Bogotá. Several months later, in December, we found out that he had recommended to the president of the university in Bogota Bogotá that in his opinion the foreign professors should not receive a penny more than the Colombians. After hearing this, we all four told him that we were not interested in another extension of our contracts. One of us, I us—I believe his name was Scultz, decided Schultz—decided to return to Germany. Walla and the “chronic liar” both wanted to go to the States and applied for immigration visa visas. My decision was easy: I would just work full time for the Empresas Públicas Empresas Públicas. [Proper names of foreign organizations (or place-names) should not be italicized] In January of 1958 when 1958, when Walla went to the American consulate to inquire about the status of his immigration visa, he was surprised to hear from the consul that he had given the first available number to the that the first available number had been given to the “liar” who “liar,” who [revision to passive voice to disambiguate “he” (Walla or the consul?); comma before “who” to set off the nonrestrictive clause] had already departed for the States. He had The “liar” had [revision to disambiguate “He” (Walla or the consul or the “liar”?)] told the consul that Walla had agreed to give up his number in his favor. Walla was quite upset and had to wait another two or three months before he could move to the States.

Result
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At the university a new dean belonging to the Liberal Party had replaced Dr. Botero, who was a Conservative. There was a strange tradition in Colombia that the Conservatives were mostly pro-German, while the Liberals tended to be pro-French. Around August of 1957 we German professors, four in all, had some talks with the new dean concerning the extension of our contracts for the next year. My original two-year contract had been extended twice by one year, and the question was now whether I would stay on for a fifth year. All four of us told the new dean that we wanted a certain portion of our salary pegged to the dollar because the Colombian peso was so rapidly losing its value. He seemed to be sympathetic to our request and said that he would send a proposal to Bogotá. Several months later, in December, we found out that he had recommended to the president of the university in Bogotá that in his opinion the foreign professors should not receive a penny more than the Colombians. After hearing this, we all four told him that we were not interested in another extension of our contracts. One of us—I believe his name was Schultz—decided to return to Germany. Walla and the “chronic liar” both wanted to go to the States and applied for immigration visas. My decision was easy: I would just work full time for the Empresas Públicas. In January of 1958, when Walla went to the American consulate to inquire about the status of his immigration visa, he was surprised to hear from the consul that the first available number had been given to the “liar,” who had already departed for the States. The “liar” had told the consul that Walla had agreed to give up his number in his favor. Walla was quite upset and had to wait another two or three months before he could move to the States.