Copyediting sample 50:
East Germany

In this memoir, I needed to exercise restraint (see the note, below); see, for example, the author’s “towards” rather than “toward,” which the author was consistent with and which I let stand, even though most authoritative style guidelines state that “toward” is the preferred U.S. spelling and the manuscript had instances of “forward” and “afterward.” I also allowed the restrictive use of “which” rather than changing it to “that.” Besides routine style issues (such as punctuation), I did need to insert an explanation for an abbreviation unfamiliar to most American readers.

Note: The late author of this piece was not a native English speaker. The client was a daughter of the author, who wanted the author's Teutonic way of expressing himself preserved as much as possible.

Skip this sample and advance to the next one in the series.

Original
Click to go to the markup.

After a visit with Gisela’s cousin Erika and her family, who lived at the time in Bochum, we went east towards Berlin. At Marienborn we entered the 200 kilometer stretch of Autobahn passing through east Germany. At the rigorous passport and custom inspection the border guards informed me that the oval license plates which had a Z — for Zoll or customs — followed by a number were not legal in the DDR. If we wanted to pass through the DDR we had to pay 20 western marks and receive two rusty East German custom plates. I asked them whether they had some wire so I could affix their license plates over ours. They said no, they had to be taken down and replaced by their plates. When I asked whether they had a mechanic to do it, they sneeringly told me that I had to do it myself or could not pass through the DDR. Well, I managed to change the plates. After driving carefully just below the speed limit of 100 km/hour, before entering west Berlin I had to exchange the plates again and return the rusty Eastern plates to the border guards. In the next few days we crossed several times over to visit our relatives in east Berlin, each time repeating the exchange of license plates at Checkpoint Charlie, but I had bought some wing nuts in west Berlin which made it much easier to take down and mount the plates.

Markup
Click to go to the result.

After a visit with Gisela’s cousin Erika and her family, who lived at the time in Bochum, we went east towards Berlin. At Marienborn we entered the 200 kilometer two-hundred-kilometer stretch of Autobahn passing through east Germany East Germany. At the rigorous passport and custom inspection the customs inspection, the border guards informed me that the oval license plates which had a Z — for Zoll or customs — followed a Z—for Zoll, or “customs”—followed by a number were not legal in the DDR. DDR (East Germany). [Most American readers need an explanation of the first instance of the abbreviation “DDR” (Deutsche Demokratische Republik)] If we wanted to pass through the DDR we DDR, we had to pay 20 western twenty Western marks and receive two rusty East German custom customs plates. I asked them whether they had some wire so I could affix their license plates over ours. They said no, they no; they had to be taken down and replaced by their plates. When I asked whether they had a mechanic to do it, they sneeringly told me that I had to do it myself or could not pass through the DDR. Well, I managed to change the plates. After driving carefully just below the speed limit of 100 km/hour kilometers per hour, before entering west Berlin I West Berlin, I had to exchange the plates again and return the rusty Eastern plates to the border guards. In the next few days we days, we crossed several times over to visit our relatives in east Berlin East Berlin, each time repeating the exchange of license plates at Checkpoint Charlie, but I had bought some wing nuts in west Berlin which West Berlin, which made it much easier to take down and mount the plates.

Result
Click to go to the next sample in the series.

After a visit with Gisela’s cousin Erika and her family, who lived at the time in Bochum, we went east towards Berlin. At Marienborn we entered the two-hundred-kilometer stretch of Autobahn passing through East Germany. At the rigorous passport and customs inspection, the border guards informed me that the oval license plates which had a Z—for Zoll, or “customs”—followed by a number were not legal in the DDR (East Germany). If we wanted to pass through the DDR, we had to pay twenty Western marks and receive two rusty East German customs plates. I asked them whether they had some wire so I could affix their license plates over ours. They said no; they had to be taken down and replaced by their plates. When I asked whether they had a mechanic to do it, they sneeringly told me that I had to do it myself or could not pass through the DDR. Well, I managed to change the plates. After driving carefully just below the speed limit of 100 kilometers per hour, before entering West Berlin, I had to exchange the plates again and return the rusty Eastern plates to the border guards. In the next few days, we crossed several times over to visit our relatives in East Berlin, each time repeating the exchange of license plates at Checkpoint Charlie, but I had bought some wing nuts in West Berlin, which made it much easier to take down and mount the plates.