Copyediting sample 40:
Seven children total
In this memoir, not only did I take care of routine mechanical style issues (principally, punctuation), but I needed to keep track of numbers: the span from the first child to the last was fifteen years, not fourteen years, and after the firstborn, there were six more children, not seven more.
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Original
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My mother was born Nellie Josephine McCain near the unincorporated hamlet of Clear Lake, Skagit County, Washington in the heavily-forested logging country of the western Cascade Mountain foothills. Mom strongly disliked the name Nellie and made the decision to go by her middle name Josephine, or simply Jo, early in her life. Her father was William “Willie” McCain, a logger, and her mother was Myrtle McCain, (nee Rowley). Willie had come to Washington State from Nebraska and Myrtle from Iowa. My mother said that her mother told of making the journey across the plains by covered wagon in the late nineteenth century.
Willie was twenty-two years old and Myrtle was sixteen when they married on January 9, 1896. She had her first child on September 28, 1896, and over the next fourteen years, she bore seven children.
While researching Myrtle, I uncovered this rapid succession of births and can only imagine the physical challenges endured by Myrtle as well as the financial challenges faced by this fast growing family. Starting in 1896 Myrtle bore a son, Albert; in 1898 another son, James; in 1899 a daughter Mary; in 1900 a daughter Beatrice; and in 1903, a son George. In 1907 James passed away at the age of nine of unknown causes. In 1909 my mother Josephine was born, and in 1911 a final son, Norman, came into the world. Myrtle bore four sons and three daughters. Although it was then common for women to have many children over a short period of time, this undoubtedly took a heavy physical toll on those mothers. Myrtle passed away in 1915 at the age of thirty-five, just four years after the birth of her youngest son, Norman. She may well have died in childbirth although that is speculation.
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Mom had very few memories of her birth mother. But she did recall that after her mother died when she was seven years old, the body was prepared at home for burial. Mom wandered into the room where her mother’s body laid. Decades later, Mom told my sister Tina that when she realized she was viewing her deceased mother, she ran out of the room screaming in terror.
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Markup
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My mother was born Nellie Josephine McCain near the unincorporated hamlet of Clear Lake, Skagit County, Washington in Washington, in the heavily-forested heavily forested logging country of the western Cascade Mountain foothills. Mom strongly disliked the name Nellie and made the decision and decided to go by her middle name Josephine name, Josephine, or simply Jo, early in her life. Her father was William “Willie” McCain, a logger, and her mother was Myrtle McCain, (nee Rowley) McCain (née Rowley). Willie had come to Washington State from Nebraska and Nebraska, and Myrtle from Iowa. My mother said that her mother told of making the journey across the plains by covered wagon in the late nineteenth century.
Willie was twenty-two years old and Myrtle was sixteen when they married on January 9, 1896. She had her first child on September 28, 1896, and over the next fourteen years fifteen years, [the last child, Norman, was born in 1911] she bore seven bore six more children. [Seven is the total, but “over the next fifteen years” implies children after the first one.]
While researching Myrtle, I uncovered this rapid succession of births and can only imagine the physical challenges endured by Myrtle as challenges she endured as well as the financial challenges faced by this fast growing fast-growing family. Starting in 1896 Myrtle 1896, Myrtle bore a son, Albert; in 1898 another 1898, another son, James; in 1899 a daughter Mary 1899, a daughter, Mary; in 1900 a daughter Beatrice 1900, a daughter, Beatrice; and in 1903, a son George son, George. In 1907 James 1907, James passed away at the age of nine of unknown causes. In 1909 my mother Josephine was 1909, my mother, Josephine, was born, and in 1911 a 1911, a final son, Norman, came into the world. Myrtle bore Altogether, Myrtle bore four sons and three daughters. Although it was then common for women to have many children over a short period of time, this undoubtedly took a heavy physical toll on those mothers. Myrtle passed away in 1915 at the age of thirty-five, just four years after the birth of her youngest son, Norman. She may well have died in childbirth although childbirth, although that is speculation.
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Mom had very few memories of her birth mother. But she did recall that after her mother died when she was seven years old, six years old, [okay? Josephine was born in 1909, and her mother died in 1915] the body was prepared at home for burial. Mom wandered into the room where her mother’s body laid. body lay. Decades later, Mom told my sister Tina that when she realized she was viewing her deceased mother, she ran out of the room screaming in terror.
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Result
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My mother was born Nellie Josephine McCain near the unincorporated hamlet of Clear Lake, Skagit County, Washington, in the heavily forested logging country of the western Cascade Mountain foothills. Mom strongly disliked the name Nellie and decided to go by her middle name, Josephine, or simply Jo, early in her life. Her father was William “Willie” McCain, a logger, and her mother was Myrtle McCain (née Rowley). Willie had come to Washington State from Nebraska, and Myrtle from Iowa. My mother said that her mother told of making the journey across the plains by covered wagon in the late nineteenth century.
Willie was twenty-two years old and Myrtle was sixteen when they married on January 9, 1896. She had her first child on September 28, 1896, and over the next fifteen years, she bore six more children.
While researching Myrtle, I uncovered this rapid succession of births and can only imagine the physical challenges she endured as well as the financial challenges faced by this fast-growing family. Starting in 1896, Myrtle bore a son, Albert; in 1898, another son, James; in 1899, a daughter, Mary; in 1900, a daughter, Beatrice; and in 1903, a son, George. In 1907, James passed away at the age of nine of unknown causes. In 1909, my mother, Josephine, was born, and in 1911, a final son, Norman, came into the world. Altogether, Myrtle bore four sons and three daughters. Although it was then common for women to have many children over a short period of time, this undoubtedly took a heavy physical toll on those mothers. Myrtle passed away in 1915 at the age of thirty-five, just four years after the birth of her youngest son, Norman. She may well have died in childbirth, although that is speculation.
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1 page later |
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Mom had very few memories of her birth mother. But she did recall that after her mother died when she was six years old, the body was prepared at home for burial. Mom wandered into the room where her mother’s body lay. Decades later, Mom told my sister Tina that when she realized she was viewing her deceased mother, she ran out of the room screaming in terror.
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