Copyediting sample 51:
Napoleon returns to Buenos Aires?

Besides routine style issues (such as punctuation) in this memoir, I needed to do prevent an absurd (even though temporary) misreading. (Of course, the misreading would be only momentary, but there is no reason to impede comprehension, even momentarily, and the fix is simple and trivial.)
Note: The late author of this piece was not a native English speaker. The client was a daughter of the author, who wanted the author’s Teutonic way of expressing himself preserved as much as possible.

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Original
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During one of my trips to Karlsruhe which I took together with one of our German engineers and some Argentine and Paraguayan representatives, professor Mosonyi invited us to dinner in a very ancient inn, made famous by an overnight stay by Napoleon on his way to Russia. On the return trip to Buenos Aires I had to fly to Paris and take there the Aerolineas flight to Argentina. Next to me sat an Argentine lady who had carried many large bags into the cabin, two of them placed under the seat in front of me. I politely asked her to remove those bags so that I could stretch out my legs. When we were in the air she became a bundle of nerves, panicking with each slightest movement of the plane. I tried to calm her down and to convince her that the flight was quite normal and that there was no danger. In talking to her, I found out what was in all her many bags. She had bought many toys in France which she would sell back in Buenos Aires.

Markup
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During one of my trips to Karlsruhe which Karlsruhe, which I took together with one of our German engineers and some Argentine and Paraguayan representatives, professor Professor Mosonyi invited us to dinner in a very ancient inn, made famous by an overnight stay by Napoleon on his way to Russia. On the return trip On my return trip [my suggested change is to prevent a misreading that this phrase refers to Napoleon’s disastrous return from Russia] to Buenos Aires I Aires, I had to fly to Paris and take there the Aerolineas Aerolíneas flight to Argentina. Next to me sat an Argentine lady who had carried many large bags into the cabin, two of them placed under the seat in front of me. I politely asked her to remove those bags so that I could stretch out my legs. When we were in the air she air, she became a bundle of nerves, panicking with each slightest movement of the plane. I tried to calm her down and to convince her that the flight was quite normal and that there was no danger. In talking to her, I found out what was in all her many bags. She had bought many toys in France which France, which she would sell back in Buenos Aires.

Result
Click to go to the next sample in the series.

During one of my trips to Karlsruhe, which I took together with one of our German engineers and some Argentine and Paraguayan representatives, Professor Mosonyi invited us to dinner in a very ancient inn, made famous by an overnight stay by Napoleon on his way to Russia. On my return trip to Buenos Aires, I had to fly to Paris and take there the Aerolíneas flight to Argentina. Next to me sat an Argentine lady who had carried many large bags into the cabin, two of them placed under the seat in front of me. I politely asked her to remove those bags so that I could stretch out my legs. When we were in the air, she became a bundle of nerves, panicking with each slightest movement of the plane. I tried to calm her down and to convince her that the flight was quite normal and that there was no danger. In talking to her, I found out what was in all her many bags. She had bought many toys in France, which she would sell back in Buenos Aires.

 

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