Substantive editing sample 49:
Former wife

Besides routine style issues (such as punctuation) in this memoir, I needed to do some fact checking via a quick search on the web.
Note: The late author of this piece was not a native English speaker. The client was a daughter of the author, who wanted the author’s Teutonic way of expressing himself preserved as much as possible.

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This sample is presented here with the client’s permission.

Original
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Shortly before we arrived in Argentina Perón had died and his widow, Isabel Perón, had become President. While most Argentines still revered Eva Perón, Perón’s first wife, Isabel or “Isabelita” was not taken seriously by most people. While she was President the country continued its downhill slide. Political assassinations and the raising of money for the terrorists by kidnapping intensified and the economic situation also worsened. When we arrived in Argentina the black market rate for the dollar was about 22 pesos. A year later it was about 400 to 500 pesos to the dollar. Then in March of 1976 Isabel was thrown out by the military and General Videla became President.

Markup
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Shortly before we arrived in Argentina Perón Argentina, President Juan Perón had died and his widow, Isabel Perón, had become President president. [The title “president” (as well as any other civil title) is capitalized only when preceding the title holder’s name.] While most Argentines still revered Eva Perón, Perón’s first wife Juan Perón’s former wife, [Eva was Juan Perón’s second wife; the first one was Aurelia Tuzón (married in 1929, died in 1936); Eva Duarte married Juan Perón in 1945, and she died in 1952] Isabel or “Isabelita” was Isabel, or “Isabelita,” was not taken seriously by most people. While she was President the president, the country continued its downhill slide. Political assassinations and the raising of money for the terrorists by kidnapping intensified and intensified, and the economic situation also worsened. When we arrived in Argentina the black market rate Argentina, the black-market rate for the dollar was about 22 pesos twenty-two pesos. A year later it was about 400 to 500 pesos four hundred to five hundred pesos to the dollar. Then in Then, in March of 1976 Isabelita 1976, Isabelita was thrown out by the military and General Videla military, and General Jorge Rafael Videla became President president.

Result
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Shortly before we arrived in Argentina, President Juan Perón had died and his widow, Isabel Perón, had become president. While most Argentines still revered Eva Perón, Juan Perón’s former wife, Isabel, or “Isabelita,” was not taken seriously by most people. While she was president, the country continued its downhill slide. Political assassinations and the raising of money for the terrorists by kidnapping intensified, and the economic situation also worsened. When we arrived in Argentina, the black-market rate for the dollar was about twenty-two pesos. A year later it was about four hundred to five hundred pesos to the dollar. Then, in March of 1976, Isabel was thrown out by the military, and General Jorge Rafael Videla became president.

 

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