Copyediting sample 53:
A 1990 graduate

In this memoir scene, the narrator describes how difficult it was to secure a position after graduating from law school. I needed to check (and correct) facts, repair syntactic faults, and otherwise fix poorly constructed sentences and awkward phrasing.

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This sample is presented here with the author’s permission.

Original
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I graduated from Pace University School of Law in 1990 and being a night-school student, in the bottom half of my class (if not THE bottom) and the fact that I was forty-one years old, I knew that I wasn’t going to be working in any of the top law firms in New York. No firm was going to fly me out to Chicago for an interview let alone give me bus fare to Queens. In fact, I didn’t even bother to apply to any. I sent out my resume to Legal Aid, legal services and AIDS-related agencies. Because it was at the height of the 1990 market crash and subsequent deep recession, thousands of laid-off young and hungry experienced attorneys were also looking for work, and it was difficult to get an interview. I went to the Spring 1990 New York University Public Interest Law Forum. I wandered around the tables, as I had an appointment in 30 minutes with Bronx Legal Services.

Markup
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I graduated from Pace University School of Law in 1990 and being a night-school student, in 1990. The facts that I had been a night-school student in the bottom half of my class (if not THE bottom not the bottom) [ALL CAPS for shouting, italics for emphasis] and the fact that and that I was forty-one years old, I knew that I wasn’t going to be working old meant, I knew, that I wouldn’t be working in any of the top law firms in New York. [There are two “facts”: (1) “I had been a night-school student in the bottom half of my class” and (2) “I was forty-one years old.”] No firm was going to fly me out to Chicago give me bus fare to Queens, let alone fly me out to Chicago for an interview let alone give me bus fare to Queens. interview. [the “let alone” expression indicates that something is far less likely, possible, or suitable than something else] In fact, I didn’t even bother to apply to any. I sent out my resume to Legal Aid, legal services my résumé to legal aid services [generic terminology okay? I find no entry for an official “Legal Aid” organization on the internet] and AIDS-related agencies. Because it was at the height of the 1990 market crash and subsequent deep recession [(1) “the height of” is contradictory (in the opposite direction) to “market crash” and “deep recession” (“height” doesn't work with downward things); (2) even more important: the crash was October 16, 1990, and the recession was after that date, but in the next paragraph you are attending a forum six months earlier (“spring 1990” and your bar exam was in July 1990)] was during an economic slowdown, [okay?] thousands of laid-off young and hungry experienced attorneys were also looking for work, and it was difficult to get difficult even to get an interview. I went to the Spring 1990 New York University Public At New York University’s Public Interest Law Forum. I wandered Forum in spring 1990, I wandered around the tables, as I had an appointment in 30 minutes tables, waiting for my appointment in thirty minutes with Bronx Legal Services.

Result
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I graduated from Pace University School of Law in 1990. The facts that I had been a night-school student in the bottom half of my class (if not the bottom) and that I was forty-one years old meant, I knew, that I wouldn’t be working in any of the top law firms in New York. No firm was going to give me bus fare to Queens, let alone fly me out to Chicago for an interview. In fact, I didn’t even bother to apply to any. I sent out my résumé to legal aid services and AIDS-related agencies. Because it was during an economic slowdown, thousands of laid-off young and hungry experienced attorneys were also looking for work, and it was difficult even to get an interview. At New York University’s Public Interest Law Forum in spring 1990, I wandered around the tables, waiting for my appointment in thirty minutes with Bronx Legal Services.